To make decisions, we are used to doing a cost-benefit analysis— what are the costs, what the benefits, weigh them, done.
But what do you do when you don’t know the benefit?
If you are deciding whether to buy a sweater— you know the cost, and you know what you’d be getting, the sweater. Weigh it out. Decision made.
When you’re deciding whether to freeze your eggs— you can know the cost, but you don’t know what you’ll be getting. You may get 20 eggs or 2 eggs, and the eggs may or may end up as a baby. There are no guarantees and that makes the decision super confusing. The cost is high and the benefit is unknown.
In a cost-benefit analysis, that’d be a loser every time. “Oh you want me to pay ten thousand dollars for a mystery bag??” And yet, it tugs at your heart strings. Your heart whispers at you that this could be for you.
Here’s the better way to look at it: it’s a cost-desire analysis. As we look at the decision it’s important to let go of the hoped for benefit. Instead, let your heart whisper its desires and lean into your hopes and dreams. Really connect to your desire for a biological child. How strong is it? How would you feel if you didn’t try to preserve that option? How would you feel if you did?
This is where getting clear on what’s truly in your heart— not what’s put there by society or pressure from our parents, and not the fears that make this even more tense— is so important. A cost-desire analysis takes a clear mind and a connected heart. From there, it can be quite easy to see what the right choice is for you…
But getting the clear mind and connected heart is not always easy. That’s why this course is designed to address the underlying causes of indecision— fear, uncertainty, clouded mind, and disconnected heart. We take an emotional journey to connect to the heart, a mindfulness journey to clear the mind, and only then do we weight the cost and the desire to arrive at a decision.
I hope to support you on this journey! And, my heart is with you if you chose to get clear and connected and decided on your own.
